Long time no talk

I've been away for a while, and unfortunately I haven't been spanked in a while.   Not because I've been an angel, but because my HoH doesn't really make time :(   I am a little sad, just because I think it would be so beneficial, and he wants me to just change overnight with only the threat of a spanking.  I know he won't follow through so I just end up doing what I want.  Not that I shouldn't do what I want or the things I want to do are bad, I just want some direction from him.  Sigh.  It might be I'm a spanko and he is not?  I don't know but I feel better kind of admitting it here. Learning domestic discipline is hard, and it takes both people.