Problems :(

I have not kept up with any DD related posts because, honestly, there has been no DD in our marriage.

My husband won't spank me, or even issue any type of discipline anymore.   He says I have too high of a pain tolerance (spanking I guess I do, you should see me scream when I get stung by a bee or stub my toe) and it takes too long to spank me to submission.  

I have no rules anymore, I just do what I want, which even when I want to be good I feel like there is no reason, he won't take the time to correct me if I do a poor job on this or that. 

I basically begged him to do even corner time but he is just not interested anymore.  I read the book "The Submissive Wife" but it's just so hard when he doesn't notice or care. 

He says he shouldn't have to discipline me, I should manage myself, he doesn't have time to be in charge of me and him.  How can I get him to understand it's not being in charge of me, but helping and guiding me to be a better person?  I know there has to be some long time LDD ladies out there that have dealt with this before.

Thanks for listening, I needed to vent but would also like to get input.

~Anna

Long time no talk

I've been away for a while, and unfortunately I haven't been spanked in a while.   Not because I've been an angel, but because my HoH doesn't really make time :(   I am a little sad, just because I think it would be so beneficial, and he wants me to just change overnight with only the threat of a spanking.  I know he won't follow through so I just end up doing what I want.  Not that I shouldn't do what I want or the things I want to do are bad, I just want some direction from him.  Sigh.  It might be I'm a spanko and he is not?  I don't know but I feel better kind of admitting it here. Learning domestic discipline is hard, and it takes both people.

Belt...

A visit from my mother in law has kept me pretty busy.  It ended up being a wonderful time, but domestic discipline went out the window.   Not that I was really that bad, but I definitely pushed limits and got kind of lazy, especially at our store.  Well last night I had my first taste of the belt.  He got a new one that is very smooth and perfect for spanking.  Since it has been so long since my last spanking he did a long warm up with the flogger, which is much easier on his hands.   Three sets of ten strokes, progressively harder, with six almost full strength at the end.  IT HURT!!! I ended up not crying, but I was very sorry and had already planned on getting my work done the next day.  This morning I also got a reminder that I was going to get all the things done that I needed to.   Thirty more licks with his belt, no warm up, and another six very hard at the end.  I got a lecture on what is come if I don't get my work done today.  What really got me is that he said he wanted to be proud of his wife for how well I do at the store, and not have to waste our precious time on punishing for something so easy to do.  With that I guess I should go do the things he asked!  That means no YouTube today, no games. 

I don't know if this is good or not, but I prefer the belt over the shoe horn- any day!!! I do wish he would spank me until I cry, I feel like he would have to spank me for an hour to get there though, and I know he won't take that much time to do that.   We are still learning, so it might just take some time.

Thanks for listening!

Anna

Be careful what you wish for!

Last week, in addition to my blog question, I posted a couple questions to Clint of http://learningdd.blogspot.com/ which he, as always, answered very logically. I sent a copy of the questions and his answers to my hubby.   He read the whole thing (which surprised me, Clint's answers are long!) and said it really made sense.  That made me really happy that he was able to understand how I was feeling and was receptive to take steps towards a better relationship.

On a different note, I read on someone's blog (can't quite remember) that they had used a shoe horn as an implement.  As it happens I know where to get a perfect one! We talked about Clint's suggestions and what he thought of them on the way home, and told him what I had got, he laughed and told me it might be good.

Sunday started off wonderfully! We actually got to sleep in a little, and while I took the dogs out and feed them, he was actually getting ready to spank me! I was a little surprised.  He had me kennel the dogs and come back to our bedroom.  He had quite the line up waiting for me!  Instead of using his hand for a warm up, he went for a 12 in. flogger? I think that's what it is, which was very stingy and worked well in both our opinions to warm the whole area up. Then he gave me about 2 mins. worth of quick hard spanks, and let that sink in. 

With that done with he moved on to this new thing which I decided would be WAY less painful than the
 bathbrush.

my first attempt at putting an image, hope i'm doing it right!!!

HOLY MOLY did that thing hurt! It was like a inch and half blaze of fire every time it struck!  This had me crying so quickly! He did the set amount (I was not in a state to remember the first ones!) then told me it looked like this was getting through to me, so we'll go ahead and do 20 more, that's just ten on each cheek sweetie. He asked if it was alright,  I nodded and gave a very meek yes sir. He rubbed and comforted me for a few minutes then asked me to stand of the end of the bed.  I did it but with a questioning look.  That's when the BB came out.  He told me that 20 with the paddle will finish my punishment.

I think that prior to the extra paddling was the most he has ever spanked me at one time.  My butt was actually sore, very hot and I did not like his idea at all!  But we got through and afterward we felt so close.  I felt like my weeks worth of not listening, not getting things done and having an attitude were all washed away.

Before bed he made sure to wash some more of that away and I now feel like the shoe horn could just disappear and never come back. The second one was not as long but I still went to bed with a warm fanny.

This morning we went through another session like sunday morning, to make sure I would be on top of things at work.  So going back to the title of this post, be careful what you wish for.  I'm kinda happy he doesn't really go reading blogs and learning more than I want him to!  But in all seriousness, I'm happy he is giving me some direction and incentive to do good work!

Thanks for reading, sorry it was kinda long!

~Anna