Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Problems :(

I have not kept up with any DD related posts because, honestly, there has been no DD in our marriage.

My husband won't spank me, or even issue any type of discipline anymore.   He says I have too high of a pain tolerance (spanking I guess I do, you should see me scream when I get stung by a bee or stub my toe) and it takes too long to spank me to submission.  

I have no rules anymore, I just do what I want, which even when I want to be good I feel like there is no reason, he won't take the time to correct me if I do a poor job on this or that. 

I basically begged him to do even corner time but he is just not interested anymore.  I read the book "The Submissive Wife" but it's just so hard when he doesn't notice or care. 

He says he shouldn't have to discipline me, I should manage myself, he doesn't have time to be in charge of me and him.  How can I get him to understand it's not being in charge of me, but helping and guiding me to be a better person?  I know there has to be some long time LDD ladies out there that have dealt with this before.

Thanks for listening, I needed to vent but would also like to get input.



  1. Anna,

    I have had this problem before also. My husband and I quit DD a few times. Honestly, I get where you are coming from: why should I try when he doesnt even care. I have been there. I hope things have improved for you since this post. Reaffirm how important it is to you. Perhaps he could try another discipline besides spanking OR up the implements. Are you guys using implements? If you have not found it learning domestic discipline is a great blog (how I found yours, actually) and has a network of supportive women AND men. Maybe your husband could find what he needs there. Good luck to you.

  2. Anna,
    I believe that this happens to all of us at some point. This has happened to my wife and I and things just got really bad, we finally realized that whenever this happens we seem to resort back to traditional values and figure, isn't this one of the reasons we got involved in DD in the first place? What we started doing was hold a weekly meeting where we turned off tv, locked doors turn phones off and retreat to a room that we close the door. Here we talk about the past weeks activities and then any other issues that may have some negative effects on our relationship. We have been doing this since 2010 and things are a lot better, we still have stumbling blocks, but they aren't as sever as just giving up.
    This is what works for us but who knows, you may find even a better way that will get his attention and make your relationship more of a challenge.
    Good luck to you both.

  3. I hope you managed to sort the issues out. It can be hard,
    Princess x