The other morning I was having a really hard time waking up. I was moving but slow, and the dogs were getting to me. So I started yelling. He asked me to stop, I did. The dogs would just not stopping being crazoids though! Sure enough I was back yelling.
He surprised me by (gently) grabbing my arm and leading me to the wall (we don't actually have any usable corners lol). He put me in a different spot than last time, where it was easier to see what was going on in the room. I didn't look around but I really was tired and leaned my head on the wall, which he didn't correct so I guess it was okay. Or he just wasn't looking at me. I also got away with several sighs and fidgeting.
It felt SO LONG! I didn't count this time, just kept repeating that I need to try to keep my temper in check- even in the mornings. Grr. I really hate the morning. That is why I work at 11!
When he told me I was done, I walked pretty sheepishly to him and knelt beside him. With my head in his lap he stroked my hair and asked why I needed the corner time. I told him I would work on keeping my attitude better and not yell at the dogs. He thanked me and hugged and kissed me. I started to cry! The punishment put me back to rights and I felt fine afterward.
I did feel bad for yelling but in fairness I was still half asleep. If your dog starts howling in a small house when you are sleepy, I bet you would yell too! Gotta love that hound!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
New tradition and a lesson in communication!
Last Christmas Eve we took a nice drive to a open air hot spring, and did it again this year. We don't have a bath, only a stand up shower, so soaking is one of the best things in the world for me! The drive out was fun, we sang Christmas carols the whole way, our fav is "baby it's cold outside" :D
It was 20 below so we hurried in to our dressing rooms. I thought for sure I would take longer than him so when I didn't see him in the indoor pool area I scurried outside to the rock pool as quickly as I could (I really hate being in a swim suit in front of strangers!). I waited in the steaming waters. And waited, and waited, and waited. After maybe 10-15 minutes of me trying to be so patient, I walk back in to the dressing rooms, only to find him hanging out in the men's hallway (he really hates being half naked in public). So once we are both out in the nice hot water, we talk about how we need to really communicate. I didn't want him to be out there by himself, he didn't want me to have to wait in the pool area alone. Whoops! But now that we talked, next year we will know exactly what to do!
The holiday went splendidly! We had Monday off together (NEVER happens!) and got lots of work done. I had one short spanking from not listening when he told me to stop picking my fingers. That is one of the biggest bad habits I have and I absolutely hate it! I will scratch at them till they bleed, then I am super self conscious about my hands.
Great news! We have New years and the day after off together too!! I don't think we will be going to my family's house on the 1st so we are thinking this might be a good time for boot camp. He might want to go just to see the rose bowl though. Is it possible to still do boot camp? He was thinking "severe" right in the morning (so I remember all day lol ) with one assignment, the "light" and another homework before we leave, then me just on really good behavior at my family's house, then when we go home, finish off with just a medium or hard and the last assignment. The next day we will do all four and just stay at home.
What are your thoughts on this? Like I said before, it is a rare chance to have 2 days together.
Thank you!
~Anna
It was 20 below so we hurried in to our dressing rooms. I thought for sure I would take longer than him so when I didn't see him in the indoor pool area I scurried outside to the rock pool as quickly as I could (I really hate being in a swim suit in front of strangers!). I waited in the steaming waters. And waited, and waited, and waited. After maybe 10-15 minutes of me trying to be so patient, I walk back in to the dressing rooms, only to find him hanging out in the men's hallway (he really hates being half naked in public). So once we are both out in the nice hot water, we talk about how we need to really communicate. I didn't want him to be out there by himself, he didn't want me to have to wait in the pool area alone. Whoops! But now that we talked, next year we will know exactly what to do!
The holiday went splendidly! We had Monday off together (NEVER happens!) and got lots of work done. I had one short spanking from not listening when he told me to stop picking my fingers. That is one of the biggest bad habits I have and I absolutely hate it! I will scratch at them till they bleed, then I am super self conscious about my hands.
Great news! We have New years and the day after off together too!! I don't think we will be going to my family's house on the 1st so we are thinking this might be a good time for boot camp. He might want to go just to see the rose bowl though. Is it possible to still do boot camp? He was thinking "severe" right in the morning (so I remember all day lol ) with one assignment, the "light" and another homework before we leave, then me just on really good behavior at my family's house, then when we go home, finish off with just a medium or hard and the last assignment. The next day we will do all four and just stay at home.
What are your thoughts on this? Like I said before, it is a rare chance to have 2 days together.
Thank you!
~Anna
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Threats and postponing a punishment
Last night I was doing really well, cooking dinner and lunches for the next day, doing the dishes and cleaning up after the dogs, all in a cheerful mood. Until he told me he was going to go the the living room to play his new game. I was sad that he wouldn't stay and talk to me while I'm doing so well in the kitchen!! Then when I finish dinner more quickly than I thought I would he came and sat and started reading just as I was opening my mouth to say something about my day...
"Oh. I guess you aren't in the mood to talk"
Book slams shut. "I'm really too hungry to talk, I'll talk with you after I eat."
"I didn't know talking while eating was such a big deal."
And now he is mad. But I can't stop there. Snarky comment after snarky comment, I can see his blood pressure rising. Finally he just tells me to stop and goes to the bedroom. So I start yelling (otherwise he won't hear me, he is in another room trying to ignore me!) about this and that, how I can't stand it when he ignores me.
Just a calm voice "Stop yelling or you are getting a spanking"
"OH really!! Yeah I bet!" Then I go on to complain more loudly about this and that. Now I hear him say that in the morning I'll be getting a spanking. I yell back at him that if he really meant it he would do it now. He told me that would be breaking the rules since he was so mad at me.
I am now fuming that he is STILL ignoring me by not coming in the kitchen, I have to take the dogs out again, and I don't wanna go to bed with him because I know we are going to bed mad. Well, one of us was. He fell asleep just fine. I fumed and played stupid games on my iphone till I was too tired to do it anymore.
I was a little sorry when I woke up. I made us a good breakfast and he still wasn't really talking to me. When he started the shower I was sure he was not going to make good on his threat.
"So I'm not getting spanked after all."
"Oh you are"
Now I am more annoyed that he is going to spank me after my bum is wet, and that will sting more! Also because I know how much time we have and it's not going to be a serious spanking (I don't want it but I also know I deserve it). More annoyed because he is asking me if I want pants or no pants. I don't wear the pants!! He should be making that decision! (I picked pants btw) I got a warm up and then he was asking why I got a spanking. I told him "Yelling when you told me to stop. But I'm not sorry. You were ignoring me and I missed you and I just wanted to talk."
"Even so, it's not okay to talk to me that way, and when I tell you to stop I mean it. Do you understand?"
"Yeah, but I'm still not sorry."
I feel like the situation was not resolved, that I'm allowed to do those behaviours because I can without being held accountable. I feel like if he is just too tired or out of time or won't make time its because he doesn't care.
This is the first time I've yelled like this in a while, and I AM sorry. I know the reason why I acted like that and told him and I feel like he just doesn't "get it". Huff and Puff. I know we are still just beginning but that doesn't stop me from being sad.
Please feel free to leave advice or tips!
~Anna
"Oh. I guess you aren't in the mood to talk"
Book slams shut. "I'm really too hungry to talk, I'll talk with you after I eat."
"I didn't know talking while eating was such a big deal."
And now he is mad. But I can't stop there. Snarky comment after snarky comment, I can see his blood pressure rising. Finally he just tells me to stop and goes to the bedroom. So I start yelling (otherwise he won't hear me, he is in another room trying to ignore me!) about this and that, how I can't stand it when he ignores me.
Just a calm voice "Stop yelling or you are getting a spanking"
"OH really!! Yeah I bet!" Then I go on to complain more loudly about this and that. Now I hear him say that in the morning I'll be getting a spanking. I yell back at him that if he really meant it he would do it now. He told me that would be breaking the rules since he was so mad at me.
I am now fuming that he is STILL ignoring me by not coming in the kitchen, I have to take the dogs out again, and I don't wanna go to bed with him because I know we are going to bed mad. Well, one of us was. He fell asleep just fine. I fumed and played stupid games on my iphone till I was too tired to do it anymore.
I was a little sorry when I woke up. I made us a good breakfast and he still wasn't really talking to me. When he started the shower I was sure he was not going to make good on his threat.
"So I'm not getting spanked after all."
"Oh you are"
Now I am more annoyed that he is going to spank me after my bum is wet, and that will sting more! Also because I know how much time we have and it's not going to be a serious spanking (I don't want it but I also know I deserve it). More annoyed because he is asking me if I want pants or no pants. I don't wear the pants!! He should be making that decision! (I picked pants btw) I got a warm up and then he was asking why I got a spanking. I told him "Yelling when you told me to stop. But I'm not sorry. You were ignoring me and I missed you and I just wanted to talk."
"Even so, it's not okay to talk to me that way, and when I tell you to stop I mean it. Do you understand?"
"Yeah, but I'm still not sorry."
I feel like the situation was not resolved, that I'm allowed to do those behaviours because I can without being held accountable. I feel like if he is just too tired or out of time or won't make time its because he doesn't care.
This is the first time I've yelled like this in a while, and I AM sorry. I know the reason why I acted like that and told him and I feel like he just doesn't "get it". Huff and Puff. I know we are still just beginning but that doesn't stop me from being sad.
Please feel free to leave advice or tips!
~Anna
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
A New Name for Maintenance
We had discussed maintenance and he didn't really like the term, or the fact he would be punishing for no wrong doing. I feel like I would need them so we came up with a better term- Good Girl Spankings :D. As in a reminder to be a good girl or they will be worse. I really like it. He is going to do them about once a week when I'm good, just like maintenance would be.
I have been really good all week! In fact, I have been way better than usual since we started using DD in our relationship. I had asked for a "GGS" this morning. Very short 20 swats with his hand but I was still near tears. When I was done and he was holding me he asked if I was going to continue to follow our rules and do a great job with the dogs and at the house. That made me feel so grateful that he cares/likes/notices when I am doing good. Makes me want to do even better. He tells me everyday when I do good also, but it is such a confirmation that he is the leader I guess. It let me know too that I do not want to get in trouble. Spankings hurt! But that is why they are so good at correcting bad behaviors!
P.S. I feel like I should add that I did get a light spanking for rude/ questioning his decision/ back talk the night of his company holiday party. We were running late and my response had made so mad he didn't want to talk. It took us half way there before we were sort of okay. We were great the whole time and when we got home is when he told me I would be held accountable. I really wish he would have spanked me before the party even if we were a few minutes late, if that would have made him less angry on the way there. We are a work in progress though so I'm not too worried \(^.^)/
Until next time!
I have been really good all week! In fact, I have been way better than usual since we started using DD in our relationship. I had asked for a "GGS" this morning. Very short 20 swats with his hand but I was still near tears. When I was done and he was holding me he asked if I was going to continue to follow our rules and do a great job with the dogs and at the house. That made me feel so grateful that he cares/likes/notices when I am doing good. Makes me want to do even better. He tells me everyday when I do good also, but it is such a confirmation that he is the leader I guess. It let me know too that I do not want to get in trouble. Spankings hurt! But that is why they are so good at correcting bad behaviors!
P.S. I feel like I should add that I did get a light spanking for rude/ questioning his decision/ back talk the night of his company holiday party. We were running late and my response had made so mad he didn't want to talk. It took us half way there before we were sort of okay. We were great the whole time and when we got home is when he told me I would be held accountable. I really wish he would have spanked me before the party even if we were a few minutes late, if that would have made him less angry on the way there. We are a work in progress though so I'm not too worried \(^.^)/
Until next time!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
bedroom time... sigh
I feel like I am just moving right along the punishment list! I still have only had the one spanking though so I guess this is good.
I woke up this morning really grumpy. I had woken up at four am with bad cramps and couldn't go back to sleep for an hour. When 7:30 rolled around (which is "sleeping in" to my dog) she whined and whined and whined. I asked if he would take her, he mumbled in reply. Meanwhile, more whining. Now high pitched whining. So I throw off the covers, throw down the gate, turn the light on and take them out.
While I'm standing outside I'm thinking how it's not that cold, it's not that hard being up right now, after all it's almost eight. And that even though he was sleepy I'm not gonna get a warm and fuzzy feeling for being mean, noisy, and pretty much awful (can you tell I am NOT a morning person yet??). So we go back in, they are both jazzed to up and want breakfast. I feed them and slide back into the bed.
Silence. So I just lay there. So he tells me how mean I just was after a couple minutes. As he is getting up he tells me I can just stay here for 20 minutes. I am getting bedroom time I guess. He grabs my phone and my book to take the temptation away ( I wouldn't have used either of them, I knew I was in trouble. I have a problem with controlling my attitude not being insolent haha). He came back in five minutes in and told me bedroom time is not for sleeping, I told him I'm not sleeping. Good he says.
Wow. I did not anticipate on how boring this would be. No! You are not supposed to be thinking about how boring it is, you are supposed to be thinking about WHY you are in here. Was there an audience in the bedroom this morning? Did I really have to theatrically slam the dog gate on the floor and dramatically flip all the lights on? No okay probably not. He came back in eight minutes early and sat next to me on the bed. He calmly asked me why I had bedroom time, I told him for being rude and mean. He said thank you, and I said I would work on not doing that again. He told me take out the dogs again and then come work out with him in the back room. Boom! Just like that we are back to having a happy and productive morning.
Later on he had a look on his face and I asked him if he was thinking about this morning. He asked how I knew. I just knew, because his face looked dark and menacing. He told me he was thinking he probably should have gave me a spanking for all that but he was still half asleep. So apparently I got lucky. But I really will try to be nicer in the morning.
I woke up this morning really grumpy. I had woken up at four am with bad cramps and couldn't go back to sleep for an hour. When 7:30 rolled around (which is "sleeping in" to my dog) she whined and whined and whined. I asked if he would take her, he mumbled in reply. Meanwhile, more whining. Now high pitched whining. So I throw off the covers, throw down the gate, turn the light on and take them out.
While I'm standing outside I'm thinking how it's not that cold, it's not that hard being up right now, after all it's almost eight. And that even though he was sleepy I'm not gonna get a warm and fuzzy feeling for being mean, noisy, and pretty much awful (can you tell I am NOT a morning person yet??). So we go back in, they are both jazzed to up and want breakfast. I feed them and slide back into the bed.
Silence. So I just lay there. So he tells me how mean I just was after a couple minutes. As he is getting up he tells me I can just stay here for 20 minutes. I am getting bedroom time I guess. He grabs my phone and my book to take the temptation away ( I wouldn't have used either of them, I knew I was in trouble. I have a problem with controlling my attitude not being insolent haha). He came back in five minutes in and told me bedroom time is not for sleeping, I told him I'm not sleeping. Good he says.
Wow. I did not anticipate on how boring this would be. No! You are not supposed to be thinking about how boring it is, you are supposed to be thinking about WHY you are in here. Was there an audience in the bedroom this morning? Did I really have to theatrically slam the dog gate on the floor and dramatically flip all the lights on? No okay probably not. He came back in eight minutes early and sat next to me on the bed. He calmly asked me why I had bedroom time, I told him for being rude and mean. He said thank you, and I said I would work on not doing that again. He told me take out the dogs again and then come work out with him in the back room. Boom! Just like that we are back to having a happy and productive morning.
Later on he had a look on his face and I asked him if he was thinking about this morning. He asked how I knew. I just knew, because his face looked dark and menacing. He told me he was thinking he probably should have gave me a spanking for all that but he was still half asleep. So apparently I got lucky. But I really will try to be nicer in the morning.
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