Thursday, December 29, 2011

Corner Time not always easy

The other morning I was having a really hard time waking up.  I was moving but slow, and the dogs were getting to me.  So I started yelling.  He asked me to stop, I did.  The dogs would just not stopping being crazoids though! Sure enough I was back yelling.

He surprised me by (gently) grabbing my arm and leading me to the wall (we don't actually have any usable corners lol). He put me in a different spot than last time, where it was easier to see what was going on in the room.  I didn't look around but I really was tired and leaned my head on the wall, which he didn't  correct so I guess it was okay. Or he just wasn't looking at me.  I also got away with several sighs and fidgeting. 

It felt SO LONG! I didn't count this time, just kept repeating that I need to try to keep my temper in check- even in the mornings. Grr. I really hate the morning. That is why I work at 11!

When he told me I was done, I walked pretty sheepishly to him and knelt beside him.  With my head in his lap he stroked my hair and asked why I needed the corner time.  I told him I would work on keeping my attitude better and not yell at the dogs. He thanked me and hugged and kissed me.  I started to cry! The punishment put me back to rights and I felt fine afterward. 

I did feel bad for yelling but in fairness I was still half asleep. If your dog starts howling  in a small house when you are sleepy, I bet you would yell too! Gotta love that hound!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

New tradition and a lesson in communication!

Last Christmas Eve we took a nice drive to a open air hot spring, and did it again this year. We don't have a bath, only a stand up shower, so soaking is one of the best things in the world for me! The drive out was fun, we sang Christmas carols the whole way, our fav is "baby it's cold outside" :D

It was 20 below so we hurried in to our dressing rooms.   I thought for sure I would take longer than him so when I didn't see him in the indoor pool area I scurried outside to the rock pool as quickly as I could (I really hate being in a swim suit in front of strangers!).  I waited in the steaming waters. And waited, and waited, and waited.  After maybe 10-15 minutes of me trying to be so patient, I walk back in to the dressing rooms, only to find him hanging out in the men's hallway (he really hates being half naked in public).  So once we are both out in the nice hot water, we talk about how we need to really communicate.  I didn't want him to be out there by himself, he didn't want me to have to wait in the pool area alone.  Whoops! But now that we talked, next year we will know exactly what to do!

The holiday went splendidly! We had Monday off together (NEVER happens!) and got lots of work done.   I had one short spanking from not listening when he told me to stop picking my fingers.  That is one of the biggest bad habits I have and I absolutely hate it! I will scratch at them till they bleed, then I am super self conscious about my hands. 

Great news! We have New years and the day after off together too!! I don't think we will be going to my family's house on the 1st so we are thinking this might be a good time for boot camp.  He might want to go just to see the rose bowl though.  Is it possible to still do boot camp?  He was thinking "severe" right in the morning (so I remember all day lol ) with one assignment, the "light" and another homework before we leave, then me just on really good behavior at my family's house, then when we go home, finish off with just a medium or hard and the last assignment. The next day we will do all four and just stay at home.

What are your thoughts on this?  Like I said before, it is a rare chance to have 2 days together. 


Thank you!

~Anna
















Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Threats and postponing a punishment

Last night I was doing really well, cooking dinner and lunches for the next day, doing the dishes and cleaning up after the dogs, all in a cheerful mood.  Until he told me he was going to go the the living room to play his new game.  I was sad that he wouldn't stay and talk to me while I'm doing so well in the kitchen!! Then when I finish dinner more quickly than I thought I would he came and sat and started reading just as I was opening my mouth to say something about my day...

"Oh.  I guess you aren't in the mood to talk"

Book slams shut. "I'm really too hungry to talk, I'll talk with you after I eat."

"I didn't know talking while eating was such a big deal."

And now he is mad. But I can't stop there. Snarky comment after snarky comment, I can see his blood pressure rising.  Finally he just tells me to stop and goes to the bedroom.  So I start yelling (otherwise he won't hear me, he is in another room trying to ignore me!) about this and that, how I can't stand it when he ignores me.

Just a calm voice "Stop yelling or you are getting a spanking"

"OH really!! Yeah I bet!" Then I go on to complain more loudly about this and that.  Now I hear him say that in the morning I'll be getting a spanking.  I yell back at him that if he really meant it he would do it now. He told me that would be breaking the rules since he was so mad at me.

I am now fuming that he is STILL ignoring me by not coming in the kitchen, I have to take the dogs out again, and I don't wanna go to bed with him because I know we are going to bed mad.  Well, one of us was.  He fell asleep just fine.  I fumed and played stupid games on my iphone till I was too tired to do it anymore.

I was a little sorry when I woke up.  I made us a good breakfast and he still wasn't really talking to me.  When he started the shower I was sure he was not going to make good on his threat.

"So I'm not getting spanked after all."

"Oh you are"

Now I am more annoyed that he is going to spank me after my bum is wet, and that will sting more! Also because I know how much time we have and it's not going to be a serious spanking (I don't want it but I also know I deserve it).  More annoyed because he is asking me if I want pants or no pants.  I don't wear the pants!! He should be making that decision! (I picked pants btw)  I got a warm up and then he was asking why I got a spanking.  I told him "Yelling when you told me to stop. But I'm not sorry.  You were ignoring me and I missed you and I just wanted to talk."

"Even so, it's not okay to talk to me that way, and when I tell you to stop I mean it. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, but I'm still not sorry." 

I feel like the situation was not resolved, that I'm allowed to do those behaviours because I can without being held accountable.  I feel like if he is just too tired or out of time or won't make time its because he doesn't care.

This is the first time I've yelled like this in a while, and I AM sorry. I know the reason why I acted like that and told him and I feel like he just doesn't "get it".  Huff and Puff.  I know we are still just beginning but that doesn't stop me from being sad. 

Please feel free to leave advice or tips!

~Anna




Wednesday, December 14, 2011

A New Name for Maintenance

We had discussed maintenance and he didn't really like the term, or the fact he would be punishing for no wrong doing.  I feel like I would need them so we came up with a better term- Good Girl Spankings :D.  As in a reminder to be a good girl or they will be worse.  I really like it.  He is going to do them about once a week when I'm good, just like maintenance would be. 

I have been really good all week! In fact, I have been way better than usual since we started using DD in our relationship.  I had asked for a "GGS" this morning.  Very short 20 swats with his hand but I was still near tears. When I was done and he was holding me he asked if I was going to continue to follow our rules and do a great job with the dogs and at the house. That made me feel so grateful that he cares/likes/notices when I am doing good.  Makes me want to do even better.  He tells me everyday when I do good also, but it is such a confirmation that he is the leader I guess. It let me know too that I do not want to get in trouble.  Spankings hurt! But that is why they are so good at correcting bad behaviors!

P.S. I feel like I should add that I did get a light spanking for rude/ questioning his decision/ back talk the night of his company holiday party.  We were running late and my response had made so mad he didn't want to talk.  It took us half way there before we were sort of okay.  We were great the whole time and when we got home is when he told me I would be held accountable.  I really wish he would have spanked me before the party even if we were a few minutes late, if that would have made him less angry on the way there.  We are a work in progress though so I'm not too worried \(^.^)/

Until next time!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

bedroom time... sigh

I feel like I am just moving right along the punishment list! I still have only had the one spanking though so I guess this is good. 

I woke up this morning really grumpy. I had woken up at four am with bad cramps and couldn't go back to sleep for an hour. When 7:30 rolled around (which is "sleeping in" to my dog) she whined and whined and whined.  I asked if he would take her, he mumbled in reply. Meanwhile, more whining. Now high pitched whining. So I throw off the covers, throw down the gate, turn the light on and take them out. 

While I'm standing outside I'm thinking how it's not that cold, it's not that hard being up right now, after all it's almost eight.  And that even though he was sleepy I'm not gonna get a warm and fuzzy feeling for being mean, noisy, and pretty much awful (can you tell I am NOT a morning person yet??).  So we go back in, they are both jazzed to up and want breakfast.  I feed them and slide back into the bed. 

Silence. So I just lay there. So he tells me how mean I just was after a couple minutes. As he is getting up he tells me I can just stay here for 20 minutes. I am getting bedroom time I guess.  He grabs my phone and my book to take the temptation away ( I wouldn't have used either of them, I knew I was in trouble. I have a problem with controlling my attitude not being insolent haha). He came back in five minutes in and told me bedroom time is not for sleeping, I told him I'm not sleeping. Good he says. 

Wow. I did not anticipate on how boring this would be.  No! You are not supposed to be thinking about how boring it is, you are supposed to be thinking about WHY you are in here.  Was there an audience in the bedroom this morning? Did I really have to theatrically slam the dog gate on the floor and dramatically flip all the lights on? No okay probably not. He came back in eight minutes early and sat next to me on the bed.  He calmly asked me why I had bedroom time, I told him for being rude and mean.  He said thank you, and I said I would work on not doing that again. He told me take out the dogs again and then come work out with him in the back room.  Boom! Just like that we are back to having a happy and productive morning. 

Later on he had a look on his face and I asked him if he was thinking about this morning. He asked how I knew.  I just knew, because his face looked dark and menacing. He told me he was thinking he probably should have gave me a spanking for all that but he was still half asleep. So apparently I got lucky.  But I really will try to be nicer in the morning.


Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Corner Time dun dun duuun

I got assigned corner time for the first time.

We got home late, from the grocery store, I had a special dinner planned, well not too special just a new recipe that sounded quick and good.

And..... we have a mouse issue. Since it's been so cold they started coming in the house. Let me be clear- this has never happened since I have lived there.

So now before I can cook I have to sanitize and wash all the counters, silverware and utensils, take care of the dogs and get a fire started (it's way cold in the house).  He takes the dogs out, gets some wood and gets the fire going, while I'm washing my butt off and not getting anywhere.  I had a pizza in the freezer so we opt for that but while I'm still washing he is texting my cousin and reading the new magazine we got in the mail instead of talking to me.  I was getting a headache from not eating yet and sorta lost my temper and yelled at him "All you ever do is play on your phone and read and you NEVER pay attention to me!" and as soon as it came out I knew I was in the wrong, said sorry and he was sooo mad. So I turn back around to wash more and he asked in a calm voice if I would please take off my gloves and do ten minutes of corner time.  I whipped around with a look of pure 'why would I do that I said sorry!'.  I didn't want to argue because I knew I was wrong.  I didn't want to do it because I wanted to finish the dishes. But I did it, with out complaint and quietly asked where he wanted me to go(since it was our first experience with this). I got to stand next to the wood stove, and only had to do 7 minutes because I was good.

When he came up to tell me I was done I turned and hugged him and cried.  I was really ashamed of losing my temper and being rude!  He asked me why I had to stand there and I told him as that and being disrespectful and yelling.  The night was so great after that!  We were laughing together in minutes afterward.  This has never happened before!  He will stay mad that I yelled and I will be angry like it was his fault and we would go to bed like that.  We ate together and snuggled in bed and were completely happy with each others company.  It was a little boring but so necessary, and really wiped the slate for us.

I know that it will be boring in the future but I hope to always put such a good face on it, so we can get back to being loving instead of fighting.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Holidays are a time for growing and drama

I don't understand why people, and people that you love have to start dramatic problems, especially during the holidays.  Yesterday I we had, between our two families, 3 different dramatic things going on.  But as he was helping a member of his family over the phone, I had a chance to really be there for him.  He got the person calmed down and really helped them to have a better Thanksgiving, and we were very thankful that we had a good day together.  :D

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Yikes! 1st Spanking.

Good morning!  Today it finally warmed up! Last night as he picked me up from work I thought, oh this is weird, the cold is not biting my nose off, and it was only 2 below!!! We had over a week of 30 below temps and this was a very nice surprise!!  The dogs were so ready to play now that their poor lil paws aren't freezing to the ground :P But I was not ready to run around just yet, so we played in the house.  A nice way to start Thanksgiving weekend! I am thankful it warmed up!!! I really can't stress enough how hard it is when it's -30 for that long haha

So last night he put the dogs in the kennel before bed.  I looked at him like are you crazy? They are sleeping with us!  He said they will and asked me to the bed.  He had read most of the pertinent articles on Clint's blog and decided tonight was the night. I almost cried as I was laying down but tried to stay calm because I knew this was for me being completely unruly the other day.  The other day when I thought those rules we made months ago didn't count for anything anymore.  I had pajama pants on and he told me my behaviour that day was unacceptable, no more rude texts, rude comments, pouting and whining.

We spank for fun all the time so I thought this would be a walk in the park.  I wondered why all those girls put their hands back, or kick.  He started out with "potches" as we call them.  Then they got to 1/2 strength.  Okay still good I mean they hurt but not so bad.   Then came 3/4 strength. I'm crying but no tears.  A few more and I reached my hand back.  He just took it gently and held it to his leg also gently.  I can feel my bottom heating up and I'm not kicking but kinda just wiggling around (as if that would help).  Still no tears and he asks me to go get the bath brush. I said you mean a wooden spoon? He said no I mean the brush. No really, the spoon you mean??? Brush. Okay I'll get your brush. 

Now I did a practice swat on myself to see how horrible this brush really was- and IT HURT! lol I was like lets just forget we bought this thing.  He didn't forget I guess.  Those did not feel very nice but still no tears.  When he stopped (after about 20 I think but I was not counting) I had tears in my eyes but I wasn't crying.  I think we need to work on warming up because I did have a little bruise, but it doesn't hurt.  He was really nice about holding me and comforting me, but it was a little disappointing that I didn't get that "release" that other wives talk about. Needless to say, I will not be eager for the next one BUT we are doing a major overhaul of behaviours so I am expecting more anyway.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

First Blog!

Hello!


I am excited to join this community of couples that also use domestic discipline in their marriage. We actually decided to start a few months ago, but getting ready for winter had us really busy and we could not "start".  Well while I was recovering from an illness he decided I should do a recap of the house rules, store rules and what I think are fair punishments. We went over them last night and he said I made all fair and necessary rules.

I am still recovering so I am on hold for my "1st spanking" which I earned for being extremely rude, mouthy, and not doing what I was supposed to.  I thought he had forgot about DD and therefore did not take his threat seriously.  It was!! I am really happy he has decided to take this roll of being our HOH seriously and hold me accountable.

I don't really know what else to say for now!  I am not very good with computers so this blog won't be fancy or anything but I will blog about our experiences to help others.  One thing I have noticed is most LDD families have children.  We do not, and plan to keep it that way.  We have two wonderful(ly bad) dogs and two rabbits, a nice little house and a small business that I run while he works.